I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
