I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your cock deserves a montage
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
