I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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