ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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