she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
