btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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