go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
