96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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