Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
