Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
