im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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