i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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