he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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