real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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