I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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