PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just had sex on a roof
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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