dude i'm inner monologue high
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
