On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize