Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
