A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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