Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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