:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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