I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
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my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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