we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
