we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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