So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
should my penis look like a turkey
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
