I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
