I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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