I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
