I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
