so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize