took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
