Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You pole danced in your parka.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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