i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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