Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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