walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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