i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
