I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
