I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
