ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
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