You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
