my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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