Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
