It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
