So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
