Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
