that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
