Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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