i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
