i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
