So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
pray to the hookup gods
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
