I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize