I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize