i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
