Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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