xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
