Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
