I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
