we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
