you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
