You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize