i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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