the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
