pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
