Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
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