Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
