take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize